OceanSide church of Christ

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Victor M. Eskew


            The home has been the basic unit of societies for thousands and thousands of years.  Some have said:  “As goes the home so goes the nation.”  Are our homes being done God’s way?  Could this be one of the main causes, therefore, of the moral downfall of our nation?  Has the home come under attack in our land?  Is the home being honored as the God-given institution it should be?  Are our homes established, maintained, and governed as the Word of God authorizes?

            Some might wonder why we have put so much emphasis on God, the Bible, and the home.  The reason is simple.  God is the author of the home.  The home began with the marriage of the first couple, Adam and Eve.  In Genesis 2:18, God saw Adam’s loneliness.  “And the Lord God said, it is not good that man should be alone; I will make an help meet for him.”  God took one of Adam’s ribs and with it He made a woman.  It was God who “brought her unto the man” (Gen. 2:22).  As He united them in holy matrimony, God said:  “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife:  and they shall be one flesh” (Gen. 2:24).  The central component of the home is the triune relationship that exists between the husband, the wife, and God. 

            Sadly, many so-called “homes” have forsaken this central component.  There are many homes today that only have a woman with children in them.  There is no man.  The woman may have had the children by several different men.  In many of these homes, the influence of the biological father of the children is not found.  The mother lives off of government assistance.  Sadly, the government has incentivized these so-called homes.  The more children a single woman has the more money she gets in federal assistance.  These homes are weak because they do not contain a male influence therein.  They are weak because the woman usually only gets enough money to “get by.”  She often lives in places that are not safe for children.  If she works, the children are left to fend for themselves.  Some might call these places home, but those in them are not doing “home” God’s Way.

Another type of home that is common today is a home wherein a man and a woman are simply living together.  The man and woman have not been joined in holy matrimony.  This arrangement used to be called “shacking up.”  The terminology has been polished for today’s society.  Some refer to it as a “live-in” relationship.  Others called this arrangement cohabitation, a trial marriage, or having a domestic partner.  This type of a relationship is not authorized by God’s Word.  It is a practice that usually involves the sins of lust, uncleanness, and fornication.  These are works of the flesh.  Those who engage in such practices will not enter into the kingdom of heaven (Gal. 5:19-21).  Couples who simply live together look like a husband and wife.  Often they engage in the privileges granted only to a husband and wife.  But, the couple is not doing “home” God’s way. 

            Another so-called home that has the appearance of being real involves an adulterous marriage.  This is not something that is condemned in our society very often today.  One of the reasons is because divorce for any and every reason is so prevalent in our society.  But, the Bible tells us that the Lord “hateth putting away” (Mal. 2:16).  When God joins a man and a woman in the bond of wedlock, He joins them for life.  Paul affirms this in Romans 7:2.  “For the woman which hath a husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband.”  If a husband or wife divorces his/her mate and marries another, that second marriage is an adulterous marriage.  “So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress:  but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man” (Rom. 7:3).  The only exception to this law is found in Matthew 19:9.  Jesus said:  “And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery:  and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.”  Thousands and thousands of homes have men and women who are living in adulterous marriages.  These individuals have been joined together by man’s law, but they have not been joined together by God.  God would never allow or approve of a marriage that involves two individuals who are living in a sinful relationship.  Dear readers, these homes have their struggles for sure.  Commitment in second marriages is often not as high.  Divorce rates in second marriages are higher.  In fact, these divorces are what make divorce statistics so skewed.  Children who live in these homes often struggle as well.  Trust, consistency, loyalty, and spirituality are struggles within these homes.  These homes are not doing “home” God’s way.

            A fourth home that is not doing “home” God’s way involves the homes of homosexuals and lesbians.  Some of these couples simply live together.  Others, however, are “married” according to the laws of the land.   When God saw the loneliness of Adam, he created a woman and brought her to Adam.  She was the help meet for him.  She was to be man’s companion for life.  It is often rightfully said that God created Adam and Eve.  He did not create Adam and Steve.  It can also be affirmed that God did not create Eve and Genevieve.  The central component of the home involves one man being married to one woman for life.  A man being married to a man is a perversion.  A woman being married to a woman is a perversion as well.  Their feelings are irrelevant.  The love they have for one another is irrelevant.  Homosexual and lesbian marriages are not authorized in God’s Word.  The Bible plainly refers to the practice as involving “vile affections,” and  it is “against nature” (Rom. 1:26).  In Romans 1:27, the inspired penman continues to describe these relationships as “useemly” and “error.”  Many may call these arrangements homes, but those who practice such things are not doing “home” God’s way.

            God’s way is plain and pure.  God brings together a man and a woman and binds them together in marriage for life.  They become “one flesh” (Matt. 19:5-6).  And, “…what therefore God hath joined together, let no man put asunder” (Matt. 19:6).  The man and the woman willingly adopt their roles in the home (Eph. 5:22-33).  The man and woman grow together.  They help one another.  They are spiritual partners helping one another on their journey to Heaven.  In this relationship, the sexual relationship is sanctioned by God (I Cor. 7:3-5).  Children can be brought into this relationship.  Children are considered “the heritage of the Lord” and the Lord’s “reward” (Ps. 127:3).  Parents are stewards of those precious souls.  They are required to bring their children up to know, love, and obey God (Deut. 6:6-9; Eph. 6:1).  Those who have homes like this ARE DOING “home” God’s way.  They are to be commended, encouraged, and thanked.  May God bless them for doing “home” the way God ordered from the beginning.