OceanSide church of Christ

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WHAT MY FATHER, Jerald J. Eskew, TAUGHT ME

Victor M. Eskew

 

INTRODUCTION

 

A.    Twenty-four years ago today, my family and I arrived in Montgomery, AL so I could graduate from Southern Christian University, now, Amridge University.

1.      We pulled in about 4:45 p.m.  The graduation was supposed to start at 5:30 p.m.

2.      A thunderstorm was brewing with some dark clouds and wind in the area.

3.      As we got of the car, we were met by one of my professors who said that he needed to speak with me.

a.      I thought I may not have passed my Comprehensive Examination.

b.      When we got into the room, he said that my mother had called and my father had passed away earlier that day.

c.       My dad had emphysema for several years.  He had been on oxygen 24 hours a day for the two years prior to his death. 

d.      It was a heart attack that caused his death the afternoon of June 20, 1997.

e.       It is hard to image that it has been 24 years since dad died.  He was only 61 years old, the same age as I am now, when he died.

 

B.      Since it is Father’s Day, I thought I would preach a lesson this morning entitled:  “Things My Father Taught Me.”

 

I.                   A BRIEF BACKGROUND

 

A.    Dad was born to Mose Fate and Virgia Mae Eskew in 1935.

 

B.      He has one younger brother, Harold, who lives in Millington, TN.

 

C.     They grew up on a farm:  cotton, corn, a family garden, cows, pigs, mules, and chickens. 

1.      There was a period of time when his father was a sharecropper.

2.      They never had very much money while dad was growing up.

 

D.    Dad only graduated from high school.  He never attended a college.

 

E.      He spent two years in the Navy.

 

F.      His father died at the age of 58, before my mom and dad married.

 

G.     Dad was a journeyman electrician and also had his heating and cooling license.  He could also do some basic mechanic work on cars.

 

H.    Dad and mom were married almost 39 years.

 

I.        Dad died at the age of 61 on June 20, 1997.

 

J.        A couple of side notes:

1.      Dad loved some interesting food:  bologna sandwiches, spam, Vienna sausage, potted meat, pig brains, sardines, and chicken liver.  (NOTE:  He would never eat chicken.  He said he had enough of that while he was growing up).

2.      Dad loved words and would laugh at many of them:  antique, Barbara Walters, and echelon.

II.                SOME IMPORTANT THINGS DAD TAUGHT ME

 

A.    Don’t compromise the truth.

1.      My dad was not faithful when he and mom married. 

2.      Mom was a Methodist.

3.      For a brief period of time, we attended a Methodist church around the corner from our house.

4.      My dad told my mother that he could not go along them with that teaching.

5.      For a while they compromised and attended the Christian Church.

6.      Finally, dad told mom that he could not accept instrumental music so they went to the Knight Arnold church of Christ which was done the street from the Christian Church.

7.      Lesson:  Truth is truth and should not ever be compromised, even within a marriage (Prov. 23:23).

 

Buy the truth, and sell it not; also wisdom, and instruction, and understanding.

 

B.      Contentment

1.      Around 1960, my mom and dad bought a house on Boyce Road in Memphis for $8,500.00.  It about 1200 square feet and had two bedrooms and one bathroom.  Cost and in walking distance to an elementary school, junior high school, and high school were the reasons they bought it.

2.      When my sister got older, they added two bedrooms onto the house, but still only 1 bathroom.  My brother and I shared a room till I was about 20 years old.

3.      During our teen years, every one of us wanted to move to a nicer house, including my mom. 

4.      Dad had no interest in that at all.  The house was paid off.  He did not want another mortgage and he was happy right where he was. 

5.      Dad never needed the big, the fancy, and the expensive things of life.  He was content.

6.      Paul teaches us all to be content in I Timothy 6:6-8.

 

But godliness with contentment is great gain.  For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out.  And having food and raiment, let us be therewith content.

 

C.     Humility

1.      Dad never wanted the lime light.

2.      He was always content to work behind the scenes.  When he did, he never wanted any praise or recognition.

3.      He did not like politics in any place:  work, social clubs, or the church.  He saw nothing more than a lot of individuals stroking one another’s pride.

4.      Dad understood the practical application of Proverbs 29:23.

 

A man’s pride shall bring him low:  but honour shall uphold the humble in spirit.

 

D.    Take good care of your family

1.      Dad made sure he took care of us, sometimes working two and three jobs.

2.      He made sure we got a good education.

3.      He made memories with us:  fishing, big Christmases, and a 2-week vacation every year. 

4.      He disciplined us, even when we got older.

5.      He made sure that we were in church services every Sunday and Wednesday night.

6.      Many verses could be applied.  Here are two.

a.      Ephesians 6:4

 

And ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath:  but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

 

b.      I Timothy 5:8

 

But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.

 

E.      You do not quit when life gets hard.

1.      When my dad was young, his family lost everything they had in a fire. 

2.      My father lost his father when he was about 22 years old.

3.      When we were young children my father had an ulcer to erupt in his stomach and put him in the hospital.  This caused him to lose an air conditioning business because it happened in the middle of the summer.

4.      At one job, he had acid get in his eyes and almost blinded him.

On that same job, he burned his feet in hot water when a pipe burst.

5.      My father went through 4 back surgeries during his life.

6.      My dad was diagnosed with Manic Depression in his forties.

7.      Before he was properly diagnosed, he became an alcoholic because the alcohol helped a little when the depression started to set in.

8.      On his last job, he fell off a ladder and had to quit working.

9.      My father was diagnosed with emphysema.  He spent the last two years of his life on oxygen.  The last year of his life he never really left the house.

10.  My dad seldom complained about life.  He took what was thrown at him and just dealt with it. 

11.  The lesson that dad taught is that each person must properly respond to what life brings their way.  Dad’s reaction was similar to that of Job (Job 1:21-22).

 

And said, Naked came I out of my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return thither:  the Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away:  blessed be the name of the Lord.  In all this Job sinned not, nor charged God foolishly.

 

III.             DO AS I SAY, AND NOT AS I DO

 

A.    This is one of the biggest lessons I remember from my father.

 

B.      There were four areas where this was applicable in my father’s teaching.

1.      My dad smoked a lot, 2 to 3 packs a day.

2.      He had three tattoos he got in the service.

3.      He drank intoxicants.

4.      He told us not to work with our hands, but work with our minds, even though he worked hard with his hands.

 

C.     Somehow this stuck in my life. 

1.      I never smoked.

2.      I never got a tattoo.

3.      I do not drink alcohol.

4.      I work with my mind rather than my hands to make a living.

 

D.    Not all of the three children listened to every one of these things.  The other two have done some of these things in their lives, even though dad taught us not to.

 

E.      This is not the best way to teach.  The best way is to provide an example and say:  “Follow me,” as Paul did (I Cor. 11:1).

 

Be ye followers of me, even as I also am of Christ.

 

CONCLUSION

 

A.    There were a lot of other things that I could have discussed.

1.      If you are going to do something do it right.

2.      Pay attention to the details.

3.      Everything has a place.

4.      Put everything back into the place where you found it.

 

B.      Our behaviors in life have consequences. 

1.      Dad smoked from the age of 10 or 11 until his mid-50s.

2.      He smoked 2-3 packs a day.

3.      He tried several times to quit, but he could not.

4.      He contracted emphysema and died from it.

 

C.     How all of us are living now matters.  Our behaviors will have consequences (II Cor. 5:10).

 

For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ; that every one may receive the things done in his body, according to that he hath done, whether it be good or bad.