DON’T LIVE TO REGRET IT!

Victor M. Eskew

 

          One wrong choice or one wrong behavior can fill a person’s life with regret for many, many years.  It is difficult to comprehend this fact, but it is true.  That regret is a burden that weighs heavily upon a person’s mind for months, years, or even a lifetime.  He wishes he could go back and do things over, but that’s impossible.  The person has to live with the sorrow, the shame, the disappointment, and all of the losses associated with his decision or behavior.

          Genesis 3:6 contains a decision of Adam and Eve while they were in the Garden of Eden.  “And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat.”  This decision to disobey God radically altered their lives.  Do you think that Adam and Eve constantly lived with regret due this one decision?  Their names are forever attached to The Fall of Man.

          One decision to drink can lead to alcoholism.  One decision to smoke can lead to COPD or cancer.  One decision to have sex outside of wedlock can lead to one’s being a parent at a young age or to one’s having to deal with a STD.  One decision to take a pill has led families to the graveyard.  One decision to steal has led to the loss of a job.  One decision to deal in drug trading has led many to years being served in a prison cell.  One decision to have a one-night fling has led to divorced and damaged children.  One decision to act like a fool behind the wheel of a car has led to individuals being physically damaged for life.  Yes, just one decision is all that it takes.

          And, our world just keeps opening up doors of opportunity to make decisions that will bring regret into the lives of men, women, and children.  One picture on the internet, one video on TikTok, one contact made on a social website can quickly destroy a person’s reputation, job, family, and life forever.  Sadly, many seem to do silly, immoral things without thinking beyond the immediate fun or revenues that might be received.  They do not see down the road to the time when the excitement passes and regret has to be born.  They have to bear the regret.  Their families may have to bear the regret.  Too, their children may have to bear the regret.

          In Genesis 15, God promised Abram a child.  “And, behold, the word of the Lord came unto him, saying, This shall not be thine heir; but he that shall come forth out of thine own bowels shall be thine heir” (v. 4).  Sarai, Abram’s wife, become impatient while waiting for a child.  “And Sarai said unto Abram, Behold now, the Lord hath restrained me from bearing:  I pray thee, go in unto my maid; it may be that I may obtain children by her.  And Abram hearkened unto the voice of Sarai” (Gen. 16:2).  Hagar conceived a son.  From the moment it was known that she was with child, the problems started.  “And he went in unto Hagar, and she conceived:  and when she saw that she had conceived, her mistress was despised in her eyes” (Gen. 16:4).  Trouble surfaced over and over again in Abram’s home due to his one encounter with Hagar.  In time, the Lord fulfilled His promise to Abram and Isaac was born to Sarai.  This, however, only increased the difficulties in Abram’s home.  Did Abram live with any regrets?  The Biblical text does not say so specifically, but we do know that Abram’s life was more difficult because of his action. 

          King David had one extramarital encounter with Bathsheba.  “And it came to pass in an eveningtide, that David arose from off his bed, and walked upon the roof of the king’s house:  and from the roof he saw a woman washing herself; and the woman was very beautiful to look upon.  And David sent and inquired after the woman.  And one said, Is not this Bath-sheba, the daughter of Eliam, the wife of Uriah the Hittite?  And David sent messengers, and took her; and she came in unto him, and he lay with her; for she was purified from her uncleanness:  and she returned unto her house.  And the woman conceived, and sent and told David, and said, I am with child” (2 Sam. 11:2-5).  Did this news from Bathsheba bring David any regrets?  Did it harm his reputation?  Was his life made more difficult because of it?  Did David face any sorrow and grief because of his indiscretion?  The answer to all of these questions is:  “Yes.”  From the death of Bathsheba’s child to the rebellion of Adonijah as David’s death drew nigh, his life was a constant reminder that he disobeyed the will of God in matter of Uriah.

          It is possible to live with regret.  Regret, however, is painful.  Regret is a burden.  Regret is a constant reminder of what could have been.   Regret is never a friend.  Instead, it is an enemy to one’s happiness.  Even after many years have passed, the sting of regret can still be felt deep within one’s heart.

          The Bible teaches us how to eliminate regret from our lives.  Many times, the Bible exhorts us to be sober.  “Wherefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and hope to the end for the grace that is to be brought unto you at the revelation of Jesus Christ” (1 Pet. 1:13).  The word “sober” means “to be of sound mind.”  It is also translated as discreet.  It implies a watchfulness in all that we do.  Sound thinking is the first line of defense against regret.  When a person thinks correctly, he sees the consequences of his behavior.

          The Scriptures also teach us to be wise.  “See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil.  Wherefore be ye not unwise, but understanding what the will of the Lord is” (Eph. 5:15-17). In order to walk wisely in this life, we must walk by a standard.  That standard needs to be moral, upright, and righteous.  The one perfect standard that exists in the world is the Word of God.  That is why Paul contrasts being unwise with understanding what the will of the Lord is.  Those who follow God’s word will never have to live with regret.  They will go to bed every night rejoicing in both their decisions and their behaviors.

          God’s Word also exhorts us to manifest the quality of self-control.  God has given us the ability to control our tongue, our desires, and the actions of the members of our body.  Paul describes this control in this way:  “But I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection…” (1 Cor. 9:27).  We can say:  “No.”  We can abstain.  We can flee.  We can practice restraint.  We have the rule over our spirits.  The wise man said:  “He that hath no rule over his own spirit it like a city that is broken down, and without walls” (Prov. 25:28).  But, the opposite is also true.  “He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city” (Prov. 16:32). 

          Most do not give regret must thought until it becomes part of their lives.  Then regret hardly ever leaves one’s thoughts.  Dear readers, keep individuals like Adam and Eve, Abraham and Sarah, and David and Bathsheba in mind as you contemplate your decisions and behaviors.  Also, make soberness, wisdom, and temperance part of the arsenal of your life as you face with lusts and evils of this world.  In essence, we are exhorting you to do all you can do to live a life with as few regrets as possible.