JONATHAN’S AND DAVID’S FRIENSHIP

Victor M. Eskew

 

INTRODUCTION

 

A.  “They could have been enemies and rivals, yet they set aside jealousy, resentment, bitterness, competition, and lust for power, choosing instead to become the closet of friends” (www.rcg.org, “Jonathan and David:  A True and Lasting Friendship”).

 

B.   This statement describes the friendship between Jonathan and David.

1.    It was an immediate friendship.

2.    It was an unusual friendship.

3.    It was a lasting friendship.

4.    It was an exemplary friendship.

 

C.  It has all the qualities about which we write in our bulletin article.

 

D.  In this lesson, we will look at some other interesting aspect of Jonathan’s and David’s friendship.

 

I.         IT WAS A RELATIONSHIP BASED ON LOVE BETWEEN TWO MEN

 

A.  Several times the Scriptures mention the love between Jonathan and David.

1.    I Samuel 18:1

 

…and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.

 

2.    I Samuel 20:17

 

And Jonathan caused David to swear again, because he loved him:  for he loved him as he loveth his own soul.

 

3.    II Samuel 1:26

 

I am distressed for thee, my brother Jonathan:  very pleasant hast thou been unto me:  thy love to me was wonderful, passing the love of women.

 

B.   Many individuals try to put a homosexual interpretation upon the relationship between Jonathan and David.

1.    They base it upon II Samuel 1:26:  “…thy love to me was wonderful, passing the love of women.”

2.    Answers:

a.    The word “love” is not the typical word for sexual activity.  It has clear political and diplomatic connotations (I Sam. 16:21; 18:16; I Kings 5:1).

 

And David came to Saul, and stood before him:  and he loved him greatly; and he became his amour bearer.

 

b.    David is probably making a contrast between his relationship with Michal, Saul’s daughter (See I Sam. 18:20).

1)     David wept when he had to depart from Michal (I Sam. 19:11-12).

2)    He wept and exceeded when he had to depart from Jonathan (I Sam. 20:41).

c.    It was not a homosexual relationship because such a relationship was condemned by the Old Law (Lev. 18:22), and both of these men were men of God who honored the Law.

 

C.  There is nothing wrong with two men caring deeply about one another.  All loving relationships do not have to be based upon sex.

 

II.       JONATHAN LOVED DAVID “AS HIS OWN SOUL”

 

A.  This statement is made twice in the Biblical text (I Sam. 18:1; 20:17).

 

B.   Some have translated this as:  “Love him as his own self.”

 

C.  Application:

1.    A friend’s welfare is my welfare.

2.    Romans 12:10

 

Be ye kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another.

 

III.      FRIENDSHIPS INVOLVE DIFFICULT CHALLENGES

 

A.  Jonathan’s friendship with David caused him to have to make two difficult choices.

1.    Would he side with his father against David?

2.    Would he be willing to give up his place as king to David?

 

B.   Jonathan sided with David because he knew his father was wrong about David.

1.    Jonathan’s defense of David (I Sam. 19:4-5).

 

And Jonathan spake good of David unto Saul his father, and said unto him, Let not the king sin against his servant, against David; because he hath not sinned against thee, and because his works have been to thee very good:  for he did put his life in his hand, and slew the Philistine, and the Lord wrought a great salvation for all Israel:  thou sawest it, and didst rejoice:   wherein wilt thou sin against innocent blood, to slay David without cause?

 

2.    Jonathan warned David of his father’s desire to kill him, and he helped him to escape (I Sam. 20:38, 41-42).

 

C.  Jonathan allowed David to have the kingdom because he understood that this was the will of God.

1.    Jonathan seems to have this understanding the day Goliath was slain (I Sam. 18:4).

And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was upon him, and gave it to David, and his garments, even to his sword, and to his bow, and to his girdle.

 

2.    Jonathan’s admission to David (I Sam. 23:17)

 

And he said unto him, Fear not:  for the hand of Saul my father shall not find thee; and thou shalt be king over Israel, and I shall be next unto thee; and that Saul my father knoweth.

 

D.  When we have to make difficult decisions in our relationships with our friends, we must:

1.    Side with that which is right.

2.    Resign ourselves to the will of God at all times.

 

IV.      FRIENDSHIPS ARE NOT AWAYS 50/50

 

A.  One of the elements of friendship is reciprocity.

1.    This involves the give and take in the relationship.

2.    It involves the mutual obligations friends have to each other.

 

B.   This exchange is not always 50/50 in the relationship.

1.    During their lifetime together, it seems that Jonathan was always on the giving end of the relationship.

a.    One commentator wrote:  “To some, the relationship seems to be one-sided” (Jack Hyles).

b.    Examples:

1)     Jonathan gave David his possessions (I Sam. 18:4).

2)    Jonathan pleaded for David before Saul (I Sam. 19:4-5).

3)     Jonathan warned David of his father’s wrath (I Sam. 20:38, 41-42).

4)     Jonathan went to David in the wilderness and strengthened him (I Sam. 23:16).

5)     Jonathan acknowledged that David would be the next king (I Sam. 23:17).

2.    What do we read about David’s assistance of Jonathan while Jonathan was alive?

 

C.  After Jonathan’s death, however, David was able to do good to Jonathan’s son, Mephibosheth (II Sam. 9:1-13).

 

V.        ABSENCE DOES NOT DESTROY FRIENDSHIPS

 

A.  Physical bodies may be separated, but the souls of two friends are knit together forever (I Sam. 18:1).

 

And it came to pass, when he made an end of speaking unto Saul, that the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.

 

B.   When David had to depart from Jonathan in order to save his life from Saul’s attacks, there was sadness, but the friendship did not end.

C.  Days, weeks, months, and years can pass before seeing a friend, but they will pick up right where they left off.

 

VI.      TRUE FRIENDSHIPS SURVIVE ALL OBSTACLES

 

A.  David and Jonathan’s friendship survived many things.

1.    The hatred of Jonathan’s father

2.    David’s exaltation

3.    David’s flight into the wilderness

 

B.   Friendships are based upon things that are strong and enduring:  trust, love, compassion, etc.

 

VII.    ALL FRIENDSHIPS END FOR A SEASON

 

A.  I Samuel 31:2

 

And the Philistines followed hard upon Saul and his sons; and the Philistines slew Jonathan, and Abinadab, and Melchishua, Saul’s sons.

 

B.   David grieved over the loss of his friend (II Sam. 1:17, 25-27).

 

And David lamented with lamentation over Saul and Jonathan his son…How are the mighty fallen in the midst of battle!  O Jonathan, thou was slain in thine high places.  I am distressed for thee, my brother Jonathan:  very pleasant hast thou been to me:  thy love to me was wonderful, passing the love of women.  How are the mighty fallen, and the weapons of war perished!

 

C.  Jonathan was gone, but only for a season.  Upon David’s death, he would join his friend again for eternity.

 

CONCLUSION

 

A.  One thing that David needed was a friend, and God gave him one in Jonathan.

 

B.   All close friends are precious gifts that are given by God (James 1:17).  May all of us thank God for our friends.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

JONATHAN’S AND DAVID’S FRIENSHIP

Victor M. Eskew

 

INTRODUCTION

 

A.  “They could have been enemies and rivals, yet they set aside jealousy, resentment, bitterness, competition, and lust for power, choosing instead to become the closet of friends” (www.rcg.org, “Jonathan and David:  A True and Lasting Friendship”).

 

B.   This statement describes the friendship between Jonathan and David.

1.    It was an immediate friendship.

2.    It was an unusual friendship.

3.    It was a lasting friendship.

4.    It was an exemplary friendship.

 

C.  It has all the qualities about which we write in our bulletin article.

 

D.  In this lesson, we will look at some other interesting aspect of Jonathan’s and David’s friendship.

 

I.   IT WAS A RELATIONSHIP BASED ON LOVE BETWEEN TWO MEN

 

A.  Several times the Scriptures mention the love between Jonathan and David (I Sam. 18:1; 20:17; II Sam. 1:26).

 

B.   Many individuals try to put a homosexual interpretation upon the relationship between Jonathan and David.

3.    They base it upon II Samuel 1:26:  “…thy love to me was wonderful, passing the love of women.”

4.    Answers:

d.   The word “love” is not the typical word for sexual activity.  It has clear political and diplomatic connotations (I Sam. 16:21; 18:16; I Kings 5:1).

e.    David is probably making a contrast between his relationship with Michal, Saul’s daughter (See I Sam. 18:20).

3)     David wept when he had to depart from Michal (I Sam. 19:11-12).

4)     He wept and exceeded when he had to depart from Jonathan (I Sam. 20:41).

f.    It was not a homosexual relationship because such a relationship was condemned by the Old Law (Lev. 18:22), and both of these men were men of God who honored the Law.

 

D.  There is nothing wrong with two men caring deeply about one another.  All loving relationships do not have to be based upon sex.

 

VIII.   JONATHAN LOVED DAVID “AS HIS OWN SOUL”

 

D.  This statement is made twice in the Biblical text (I Sam. 18:1; 20:17).

 

E.   Some have translated this as:  “Love him as his own self.”

 

F.    Application:

3.    A friend’s welfare is my welfare.

4.    Romans 12:10

 

IX.      FRIENDSHIPS INVOLVE DIFFICULT CHALLENGES

 

E.   Jonathan’s friendship with David caused him to have to make two difficult choices.

3.    Would he side with his father against David?

4.    Would he be willing to give up his place as king to David?

 

F.    Jonathan sided with David because he knew his father was wrong about David.

3.    Jonathan’s defense of David (I Sam. 19:4-5).

4.    Jonathan warned David of his father’s desire to kill him, and he helped him to escape (I Sam. 20:38, 41-42).

 

G.  Jonathan allowed David to have the kingdom because he understood that this was the will of God.

3.    Jonathan seems to have this understanding the day Goliath was slain (I Sam. 18:4).

4.    Jonathan’s admission to David (I Sam. 23:17)

 

H.  When we have to make difficult decisions in our relationships with our friends, we must:

3.    Side with that which is right.

4.    Resign ourselves to the will of God at all times.

 

X.        FRIENDSHIPS ARE NOT AWAYS 50/50

 

D.  One of the elements of friendship is reciprocity.

3.    This involves the give and take in the relationship.

4.    It involves the mutual obligations friends have to each other.

 

E.   This exchange is not always 50/50 in the relationship.

3.    During their lifetime together, it seems that Jonathan was always on the giving end of the relationship.

c.    One commentator wrote:  “To some, the relationship seems to be one-sided” (Jack Hyles).

d.   Examples:

6)     Jonathan gave David his possessions (I Sam. 18:4).

7)    Jonathan pleaded for David before Saul (I Sam. 19:4-5).

8)    Jonathan warned David of his father’s wrath (I Sam. 20:38, 41-42).

9)    Jonathan went to David in the wilderness and strengthened him (I Sam. 23:16).

10)  Jonathan acknowledged that David would be the next king (I Sam. 23:17).

4.    What do we read about David’s assistance of Jonathan while Jonathan was alive?

 

F.    After Jonathan’s death, however, David was able to do good to Jonathan’s son, Mephibosheth (II Sam. 9:1-13).

 

XI.      ABSENCE DOES NOT DESTROY FRIENDSHIPS

 

D.  Physical bodies may be separated, but the souls of two friends are knit together forever (I Sam. 18:1).

 

E.   When David had to depart from Jonathan in order to save his life from Saul’s attacks, there was sadness, but the friendship did not end.

F.    Days, weeks, months, and years can pass before seeing a friend, but they will pick up right where they left off.

 

XII.    TRUE FRIENDSHIPS SURVIVE ALL OBSTACLES

 

C.  David and Jonathan’s friendship survived many things.

4.    The hatred of Jonathan’s father

5.    David’s exaltation

6.    David’s flight into the wilderness

 

D.  Friendships are based upon things that are strong and enduring:  trust, love, compassion, etc.

 

XIII.   ALL FRIENDSHIPS END FOR A SEASON

 

D.  I Samuel 31:2

 

E.   David grieved over the loss of his friend (II Sam. 1:17, 25-27).

 

F.    Jonathan was gone, but only for a season.  Upon David’s death, he would join his friend again for eternity.

 

CONCLUSION

 

A.  One thing that David needed was a friend, and God gave him one in Jonathan.

 

B.   All close friends are precious gifts that are given by God (James 1:17).  May all of us thank God for our friends.