OceanSide church of Christ

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HOW TO DEVELOP PATIENCE

Victor M. Eskew

 

            Patience simply defined is “the ability to endure.”  However, there is a lot more to patience than is found in those four words.  Patience involves a calm demeanor.  Patience employs the ability to wait and wait and wait.  Patience includes the proper attitude in a trying situation.  Patience also impacts our feelings and emotions.  Patience is the display of good behavior when such is not easy to do.

            Our patience can be tested in numerous ways every day.  An alarm that didn’t go off and difficult children who fight getting ready for school can test our patience in the morning.  Our drive to work and a full parking lot can test our patience right before work.  A slow computer and a difficult boss can test our patience once we have arrived at work.  Customers, deadlines, phone calls, lack of supplies, meetings, and contentious employees can test the limits of our patience from time to time throughout the day.  Long lines at the store, tired children, schedules that are too full, a slow drive through at the fast food restaurant, a traffic ticket, and a microwave that goes out can test our patience once we are off work.  A sick child, an argumentative spouse, a bounced check, and a nosy neighbor can test our patience as the day comes to an end.  Indigestion, insomnia, and thoughts about things happening tomorrow can test our patience as we lie in bed trying to get a good night’s rest. 

            Most people will admit:  “I stand in need of more patience.”  The question is:  “How do we develop patience?”  We will give some suggestions in this article that will help us to have “the patience of Job” (See James 5:11).  First, we must develop the ability to have the right perspective on what is happening to us.  In other words, we must be able to be able to see and understand what and why things are as they are.  I set the alarm by the bed instead of putting it on the other side of the room.  Thus, I am the one responsible for being late.  There is a horrible wreck ahead and there may be some lives that are lost and officials are doing all they can to clear it up.  The store is out of the item I need.  My getting upset will not miraculously put it on the shelf.  Martha had grown impatient with Mary as she sought to take care of her guests.  Jesus tried to give her some perspective on Mary’s actions.  “And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things:  but one this is needful:  and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her” (Luke 10:41-42).  Dear reader, when your find yourself getting impatient, ask this question:  “What is it that is really going on here?”

            Second, in order to increase our patience, we need to develop self-control.  Self-control is the ability to control self.  We control our emotions.  We control our words.  We control our behaviors.  We control our attitudes.  A person who is temperate never says:  “Well, I just could not help myself.”  The one who rules his spirit knows that he is in charge at all times.  He has the ability to make decisions in every circumstance.  I do not have to yell at my child who is poking in the morning.  I do not have to scream and honk the horn at the driver who cut me off.  I do not have to give the clerk at the grocery store a piece of my mind because she rang up a couple of groceries with the wrong price.  Temperance should be one of the core qualities of all Christians.  It is one fruit of the Spirit (Gal. 5:22-23).  Paul tells us that it is essential to our eternal destiny.  “And every man that striveth for the mastery is temperate in all things.  Now they do it to obtain a corruptible crown; but we an incorruptible…But I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection:  lest that by any means, when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway” (I Cor. 9:25, 27).  Self-control is the outward display of patience. 

            Third, patience is often learned in the valley of hardship and struggle.  It was in his afflictions that Job learned patience.  He was first tested without being personally afflicted.  He was then tested by being smitten with boils from the top of his head to the bottom of his feet.  Lastly, he was tried by the counsel of his friends.  The latter was probably the greatest test of all.  Job did not understand his trials, but he endured.  “In all this Job sinned not, nor charged God foolishly” (Job. 1:22).  And again:  “…In all this did not Job sin with his lips” (Job 2:10).  One trial strengthens us and makes us able to endure another trial.  Numerous trials give us the ability to withstand even more trials.  Many who have been through severe trials often shake their head in disbelief at those who can’t endure the “easier” afflictions.  Their experiences enable them to take the little things, the average things, yea, even the bigs things of life in stride.  Their experiences enable them to be patient.  Paul knew something about struggles.  Listen to his words found in Romans 5:3-4.  “And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also; knowing that tribulation worketh patience; and patience, experience; and experience, hope.”

            Fourth, studying the examples of others can help us to develop patience.  There have been many individuals who have looked at others, and said:  “If he can do it, so can I.”  James understood the power of examples when it comes to the development of patience.  He writes:  “Take, my brethren, the prophets, who have spoken in the name of the Lord, for an example of suffering affliction, and of patience.  Behold, we count them happy which endure.  Ye have heard of the patience of Job, and have seen the end of the Lord; that the Lord is very pitiful, and of tender mercy” (James 5:10-11).  The prophets and men like Job suffered much in their lives.  Still, they endured.  Too, they were blessed.  If they did it, so can we. 

            Fifth, we can pray to our heavenly Father.  Paul asked the church to pray that he might have boldness (Eph. 6:19-20).  We, too, can pray for patience as we face the trials and difficulties of life.  John gives us this promise in I John 3:22:  “And whatsoever we as, we receive of him, because we keep his commandments, and do those things that are pleasing in his sight.”  One has said:  “When you pray, be careful what you ask for.”  Remember, experience can help us develop patience.  If we pray for patience, God just might send us a few experiences to help train us. 

            Patience is not an easy virtue to acquire.  It seems like we all want patience, and “we want it now."” If we would put some of these instructions to work in our life immediately, however, we could see instant patience.  Developing the proper perspective would go a long way toward patience.  The practice of self-control would also be a quick manifestation of patience.  The other three things might take a little time.  We have to live through experiences.  We have to take time to study good examples of patient people.  And, we have to wait on God to answer our prayers.  But, if we will do these things, we will increase in patience as we live our Christian lives.  Wouldn’t it be exciting to hear someone make the statement:  “Ye have heard of the patience of…” then, fill our name at the end of the statement.  For another to attribute to us the quality of patience is an extremely high compliment.