HOW TO RESOLVE ISSUES BETWEEN BRETHREN

Matthew 18:15-17

Victor M. Eskew

 

          When two people are in a relationship, there are going to be disagreements and conflicts from time to time between them.  Sometimes the issues are petty.  At other times, the areas of disagreement can be great.

          Strife can transpire between two or more Christians. In Acts 15, we read about the contention between Paul and Barnabas over John Mark.  “And some days after, Paul said unto Barnabas, Let us go again and visit our brethren in every city where we have preached the word of the Lord, and see how they do.  And Barnabas determined to take with them John, whose surname was Mark.  But Paul thought it not good to take him with them, who departed from them from Pamphylia, and went not with them to the work.  And the contention was so sharp between them, that they departed asunder one from the other:  and so Barnabas took Mark, and sailed unto Cyprus; and Paul chose Silas, and departed, being recommended by the brethren unto the grace of God” (Acts 15:36-40).  In the church at Philippi, there were two women who had some problem between them.  Paul addressed the conflict and exhorted the church to help them.  “I beseech Euodias, and beseech Syntyche, that they be of the same mind in the Lord.  And I entreat thee also, true yokefellow, help those women which laboured with me in the gospel, with Clement also, and with other my fellowlabourers, whose name are in the book of life” (Phil. 4:2-3).

          Yes, relationships will have periods wherein disputes will arise.  The question that should be foremost on our minds is:  “How do we resolve these differences?”  Fortunately, Jesus provides us with the answer in Matthew 18:15-17.  Jesus taught:  “Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone:  if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.  But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.  And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church:  but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as a heathen man and a publican.” 

          Jesus’ instruction begins with a PRIVATE MEETING between the two persons, that is the offender and the offended.  “Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone…” (v. 15).  This meeting is not the same meeting wherein the trespass took place.  This is a different meeting.  The person who has been injured should take a day or two before calling this private session.  He needs to calm down.  He needs to collect his thoughts.  He needs to develop the proper words he wants to express to his brother in Christ.  Often a private meeting can resolve the differences between the two individuals, especially if both will come together with a Christ-like spirit and a love for truth.  Jesus even notes this positive result in His teaching.  He said:  “…if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother” (v. 15).

          A private meeting, however, may not settle the issues between the individuals.  If not, Jesus set forth another step.  PLURAL WITNESSES should be taken by the injured party to another meeting with the transgressor in order to discuss the discord between the two individuals.  “But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more…” (v. 16).  These witnesses should be mature Christians.  They need to be individuals who do not have respect of persons.  They need to be trustworthy, that is, confidential in nature.  They should not have any kind of agendas or prejudices when they enter the meeting.  The presence of these witnesses confirms the matter that exists between the two individuals if the conflict is not resolved.  “…that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established” (v. 16).  Until a matter has witnesses, it is just one person’s word against another.  Without witnesses, there is no weight to the matters between the warring parties.

          It is possible that the meeting involving the witnesses fails to resolve the issue.  If this happens, Jesus reveals that it is then to become a PUBLIC MATTER.  “And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church…” (v. 17).  Jesus instructed His disciples to bring the problem to church if it wasn’t resolved privately or with witnesses.  This is the second time the word “church” is used by Jesus (See Matt.16:18).  The word involves those who have called out into an assembly.  The word can be used broadly to refer to any assembly.  It can also be used specifically to refer to the assembly of Christians.  Jesus uses it in the latter sense here.  One’s brothers and sisters in Christ need to be informed about the dissention between the two brothers.  Often, there are others who are close to the transgressor who are able to reason with him about the matter.  He might be willing to hear them when he will not hear the offended party.  If so, the matter can be resolved with this third step.

          Jesus did not end with the third step.  He knew that in some cases, the person might not be willing to hear the church.  If not, PROPER PUNISHMENT was to be carried out on the transgressor.  “…but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as a heathen man and a publican” (v. 17).  Heathens and publicans were unclean individuals.  God’s children wanted nothing to do with such people because they were sinners.  This was the manner in which the transgressor was to be treated if he refused to repent of his transgression after the previous steps were taken.  He was to lose his fellowship with those who were faithfully seeking to live God’s Word in their lives.

          There are two points to emphasize as we bring this study to a close.  First, this plan Jesus sets forth involves personal struggles between two brothers.  It has nothing to do with a person who commits a public sin or who teaches false doctrine to others.  Second, there are many Christians who refuse to follow the Lord’s divine instructions.  Instead of meeting privately with the offender, they go out and spread the matter to others.  When this is done, the offended person is guilty of violating God’s will as well.  He is not promoting unity and peace in the body of Christ.  His actions create strife, turmoil, and factions in the body of Christ.  Dear readers, let set our minds to resolving our differences by using the divine plan revealed to us by the Son of God.