OceanSide church of Christ

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LOST ELEMENTS OF LOVE

Victor M. Eskew

 

INTRODUCTION

 

A.    In the Bible, love is the highest quality that exists.

1.      God is love (I John 4:8).

2.      I Corinthians 13:13

 

And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.

 

3.      Colossians 3:14

 

And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness.

 

4.      I Timothy 1:5

 

Now the end of the commandment is charity out of a pure heart, and of a good conscience, and of faith unfeign.

 

5.      I Peter 4:8

 

And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves:  for charity shall cover a multitude of sins.

 

B.      Love is a quality that is composed of many elements.  If any of these elements is cast aside, love is profoundly impacted. 

 

C.     The title of our lesson is:  “The Lost Elements of Love.”

 

I.                   WITHOUT RESPECT:  Love is lost.

 

A.    Respect involves both the heart of man and the actions of man.

1.      In the heart, when respect is present, there is a reverence one has for another.

2.      This reverence is manifested in how a person speaks to another and how a person behaves toward another.

 

B.      The Bible teaches us to have respect for each other in numerous relationships.

1.      “Honour thy father and thy mother…” (Exo. 20:12).

2.      “…and honour the face of the old man…” (Lev. 19:32).

3.      “That all men should honour the Son, even as they honour the Father…” (John 5:23).

4.      “…in honour preferring one another” (Rom. 12:10).

5.      “Honour widows that are widows indeed” (I Tim. 5:3).

6.      “Let the elders that rule well be counted worthy of double honour…” (I Tim. 5:17).

7.      “Honour all men…” (I Pet. 2:17).

8.      “…honour the king” (I Pet. 2:17).

9.      “…giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel…” (I Pet. 3:7).

 

C.     The opposite of respect is disrespect. 

 

D.    Where there is no respect, there can be no love because disrespect opposes love.

1.      Disrespect ignores another.

2.      Disrespect speaks evil of another.

3.      Disrespect rebels against another.

4.      Disrespect looks to harm another.

5.      Disrespect rejoices in another’s demise. 

 

II.                WITHOUT TRUST:  Love is unstable.

 

A.    Trust is simply defined as:  “putting part of all of one’s care into the hands of another.”

 

B.      I Corinthians 13:8

 

Charity…believeth all things…

 

C.     In Proverbs 31:10-31, the virtuous woman is described. (See v. 11-12).

 

The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.  She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

 

D.    Without trust, love is unstable. 

1.      There is a lot of wondering.

2.      There are a lot of questions.

3.      There are always doubts.

4.      There are follow-ups, check ups, and check-ins.

5.      There are harsh words and fights.

 

III.             WITHOUT KINDNESS:  Love is unhappy.

 

A.    Two verses:

1.      I Corinthians 13:4

 

Charity suffereth long, and is kind…

 

2.      Ephesians 4:32a

 

And be ye kind one to another…

 

B.      Kindness brings happiness to the life of the one who experiences it.

1.      Service at a restaurant.

2.      Service at a hotel.

3.      Kind acts done by strangers that we meet.

4.      NOTE:  The same is true when kindness is expressed a loving relationship.

 

C.     Where there is no kindness, there is unhappiness.

1.      Unjust criticism is not kind.

2.      Constant nagging is not kind.

3.      Filthy and vile words are not kind.

4.      Ignoring another is not kind.

5.      Making false charges is not kind.

6.      Fussing and fighting is not kind.

7.      Constantly picking out another’s faults is not kind.

 

 

 

IV.             WITHOUT CARING:  Love is selfish.

 

A.    Part of love involves caring for the one we love. 

1.      We care about their daily activities.

2.      We care about their hurts.

3.      We care about their successes.

4.      We care about their struggles.

5.      We care about what they care about.

 

B.      Our care often involves much needed service to the other individual.

 

C.     If there is no caring, love is selfish.

1.      The Bible tells us that love “seeketh not her own” (I Cor. 13:5).

2.      We see love without caring in action in the Parable of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:30-32).

 

And Jesus answering said, A certain man went down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and fell among thieves, which stripped him of his raiment, and wounded him, leaving him half dead.  And by chance there can down a certain priest that way; and when he saw him, he passed by on the other side.  And likewise a Levite, when he was at the place, came and looked on him, and passed by on the other side.

 

a.      If the priest and Levite were asked:  “Do you love others?” they would have answered:  “Yes.”

b.      Their love did not care for this wounded man.  Their love involved selfishness.  In reality, selfish love is a contradiction of terms.  True love is selfless.

 

V.                WITHOUT COMMUNCATION:  Love is cold.

 

A.    It has been said that communication is the lifeline of all relationships. (Ex., Our children say they love us.  However, we question this when they do not communicate with us).

 

B.      God loved man and communicated with him.

1.      Through the fathers

2.      Through Moses

3.      Through the prophets

4.      Through His Son, Jesus Christ

5.      Through the pages of His holy Word

 

C.     Communication needs to be:  open, honest, kind, mutual, and constant.

 

D.    Communication is more about listening than talking. 

1.      God gave us two ears and only one mouth.

2.      Listening for understanding is the key.

3.      Good communication takes time and effort.

 

VI.             WITHOUT PURITY:  Love is lust.

 

A.    The Bible uses two words often:  love and lust.

1.      Love is pure and beautiful.

2.      Lust is selfish and evil.

 

B.      Love is desire expressed in the confines of the God-given relationship of marriage

1.      I Corinthians 7:2, 9

 

Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband…But if they cannot contain, let them marry:  for it is better to marry than to burn.

 

2.      Heb. 13:4a

 

Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled…

 

3.      NOTE:  This relationship is governed by the laws of God.

a.      It involves a relationship between a man and a woman.

b.      It involves a man and a woman who can be lawfully married.

c.       It involves a commitment that involves the words:  “till death do us part.”

 

C.     Love without the purity of the marriage relationship is lust.

1.      Young people having sexual relationships outside of marriage

2.      Living together, but not married

3.      Being involved in a relationship with another not approved by God

a.      Homosexual relationships

b.      Adulterous relationships

c.       Relationships involving adults with children

d.      Pornographic relationships

4.      I Thessalonians 4:3-5

 

For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication:  that every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honour; not in the lust of concupisence, even as the Gentiles which know not God.

 

CONCLUSION

 

A.    Love is a wonderful thing when it is practiced and experienced as God designed it to be.

 

B.      When it lacks the proper elements of love, it becomes something God never desired.

1.      Without respect, love is lost.

2.      Without trust, love is unstable.

3.      Without kindness, love is unhappy.

4.      Without caring, love is selfish.

5.      Without communication, love is cold.

6.      Without purity, love is lust.

 

C.     Let’s practice the kind of love that has been designed by God.  Without love, nothing else really matters (I Cor. 13:1-3).

 

Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.  And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.  And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.