FORGIVING ONESELF

Victor M. Eskew

 

INTRODUCTION

 

A.   Many Bible greats committed sin.

1.    Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit (Gen. 3:6).

2.    Noah got drunk (Gen. 9:20-21).

3.    Lot’s daughters slept with their father (Gen. 19:31-38).

4.    Jacob deceived his father (Gen. 27:24).

5.    Moses struck the rock instead of speaking to it (Num. 20:11).

6.    David committed adultery and murder (2 Sam. 11).

7.    Peter denied the Lord three times (Matt. 26:69-75).

 

B.   Fortunately, God offers forgiveness to those who repent and seek His mercy (See 2 Sam. 12:13).

 

And David said unto Nathan, I have sinned against the LORD.  And Nathan said unto David, The LORD also hath put away thy sin; thou shalt not die.

 

C.   One would think that forgiveness from God would be a blessing in which any individual who has sinned would rejoice (Ps. 32:2).

 

Blessed is the man unto whom the LORD imputeth not iniquity…

 

D.   There is a small group of people, however, that cannot rejoice in God’s forgiveness.  The reason they cannot rejoice is because they cannot forgive themselves.

1.    They constantly regret their sins.

2.    They constantly belittle themselves.

3.    They constantly affirm there is no way God could forgive them.

4.    These individuals act as though they can no longer have joy and happiness in their lives.

5.    If you try to convince them that they have no sin since God has forgiven them, they will deny it, saying:  “There is no way God could forgive me for what I have done.”

 

E.   With these thoughts before us, let’s consider a lesson entitled:  “Forgiving Oneself.”

 

I.             THE PURPOSE OF NOT FORGIVING ONESELF

 

A.   All behaviors have a purpose.

 

B.   What is the purpose in a person’s unwillingness to forgive himself of a sin?

1.    To gain attention.

2.    To excuse himself from faithful service to God.

3.    To punish himself for his sin.

4.    To gain acceptance from those who he has hurt.

5.    To alienate individuals from him.

6.    To continue a person’s belief that he is worthless.

7.    To “justify” other bad behaviors in the future.

 

C.   NOTE:  There are times when one’s inability to forgive himself may need the assistance of a professional counselor in order to overcome the issue.

 

II.           SOME POINTS FOR THOSE WHO WILL NOT FORGIVE THEMSELVES

 

A.   Is my refusal to forgive myself part of God’s will for my life?

1.    If the person is a Christian, he needs to seriously consider this question because a Christian is supposed to be adhering to God’s will.

2.    Peter tells us that Jesus suffered in the flesh for a purpose (1 Pet. 4:2).

 

That he (the Christian) should no longer live the rest of his time in the flesh to the lusts of men, but to the will of God.

 

3.    It is not God’s will for us to continually suffer for our sins.  That is the very purpose of His forgiveness.  Remember, the person who has been forgiven by God is “blessed” (Ps. 32:2).

 

B.   Are we supposed to do something that is the very opposite of what God has done for us?

1.    Under the New Covenant, there is forgiveness (Heb. 8:12).

 

For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their iniquities will I remember no more.

 

2.    So God forgives you, but you will not forgive yourself.  You are standing in direct opposition to God in the matter.

3.    If God forgives us, we MUST forgive ourselves.  Why?  Because there is no more sin marked upon the record of our life (Ps. 51:5, 9)

 

Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindness:  according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions…Hide thy face from my sins, and blot out all my iniquities.

 

C.   If a person will not forgive himself, he makes the blood of the cross of none effect.

1.    Jesus died to forgive us of our sins.

a.    “…the blood of Jesus Christ cleanseth us from all sins” (1 John 1:7).

b.    “…unto him that love us, and washed us from our sins in his own blood” (Rev. 1:5).

2.    Who really wants to play games with the blood of Christ?

Who wants to challenge the power of the blood of Christ to forgive?

Who wants to admit that he will not allow the blood of Christ to forgive him?

 

D.   Those who will not forgive themselves cheapen the grace of God.

1.    The grace of God is God’s divine assistance in our lives.

2.    Without God’s grace there could have been no forgiveness (Eph. 2:8)

 

For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves:  it is the gift of God.

 

3.    God intervened in the affairs of men and saved man by His grace. 

a.    So, God’s grace can save David, but it is not good enough for me?

b.    So, God’s grace can save Saul of Tarsus, but is it not good enough for me?

4.    Who sincerely believes himself bold enough to cheapen the grace of God?

 

E.   Those who will not forgive themselves do not appreciate the love of God.

1.    Verses:

a.    Romans 5:8

 

But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

 

b.    Ephesians 2:4-5

 

But God, who is rich in mercy, for his great love wherewith he love us, even when we were dead in sins, hath quicked us together with Christ, (by grace ye are saved).

 

2.    Who wants to reject the wonderful love of God that has been manifested to this world?

 

III.         A PURPOSEFUL LIFE AFTER ONE HAS SINNED

 

A.   After sin, is a new life.

1.    When Paul wrote to the church at Corinth, he reminded them of some of the sins they had committed in the past ranging from fornication, to theft, to drunkenness (1 Cor. 6:9-10).  Now listen to verse 11.

 

And such were some of you:  but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the LORD Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God.

 

2.    2 Corinthians 5:17

 

Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature:  old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.

 

3.    A person forgiven by God has put the old man of sin to death, and become a new man in Christ.  (NOTE:  Think about this.  You are a new man who is claiming to be the old man of sin).

 

B.   After sin, a person can be used by God.

1.    Paul had sinned greatly in the past. 

2.    He never forgot the sins he committed.

a.    He was the least of the apostles (1 Cor. 15:9).

b.    He was before a blasphemer, a persecutor, and injurious (1 Tim. 1:13).

c.    He was the chief of sinners (1 Tim. 1:15).

3.    He did not wallow in his sins.  The grace of God motivated him to do wonderful things for the cause of Christ (1 Cor. 15:10).

 

But by the grace of God I am what I am:  and his grace which was bestowed upon me was not in vain; but I laboured more abundantly than they all:  yet not I, but the grace of God which was with me.

 

a.    He saved souls.

b.    He established churches.

c.    He edified the brethren.

d.    He did the work of a preacher and apostle.

e.    He wrote about half of the New Testament.

f.     He made himself an example to be followed.

g.    He molded and trained others to take up the cause after him.

h.    He became a martyr for the cause of Christ.

 

C.   My wicked past can often give me the knowledge and experience to help others in the future.

1.    Paul’s example as a Jew.

a.    In Romans 10:2, Paul declared that the Jews had a zeal for God.

b.    Paul understood that zeal.  He, too, had manifested it in the past (Gal. 1:14).

 

 

And profited in the Jews religion above many my equals in mine own nation, being more exceedingly zealous of the tradition of my fathers.

 

c.    Paul could speak to that fire and to that fervency and have an impact on other Jews after he was converted.

2.    Other examples:

a.    Addicts who assist others

b.    Reformed criminals who work in prisons.

3.    Those who finally forgive themselves can work with others who have difficulty in forgiving themselves.

 

CONCLUSION

 

A.   What if everyone who committed sins refused to forgive themselves?

 

B.   If you are not forgiven, then you have absolutely no hope.  Your end will be condemnation in a devil’s hell.

 

C.   Verses:

1.    John 3:17

 

For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world:  but that the world through him might be saved.

 

2.    1 Timothy 2:3-6

 

For this is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Saviour; who will have all men to be saved, and to come unto the knowledge of the truth.  For there is one God, and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus; who gave himself a ransom for all to be testified in due time.