WORD ASSOCIATION (2)

The Elderly (2)

Victor M. Eskew

 

INTRODUCTION

 

A.   Word associations are used in many fields. 

1.    Most of the time, they are used to analyze the individual who makes the association between one word and another.

2.    Our Word Association lessons are designed to help us get some insight into the word that is presented.

 

B.   We began last month by looking at the term, “The Elderly.”  We looked at five words associated with the elderly.

1.    Wisdom

2.    Experience

3.    Respect

4.    Example

5.    Sweet/Kind

 

C.   We want to look at this same term in this lesson.

 

I.             TALENTED

 

A.   There are many older individuals who are extremely talented people.

 

B.   There are older individuals who are involved in such things as knitting, sewing, quilting, cooking, woodworking, picture framing, painting, scrapbooking, coaching, owning a business, caregiving, teaching.

 

C.   In Matthew 25:15, Jesus tells the story of a man receiving five talents from his lord just prior to his lord’s departure.  The lord was gone a long time (Matt. 25:19).  When the lord returned, the five talent man had done something wonderful (Matt. 25:20).

 

And so he that had received five talents came and brought other five talents, saying, Lord, thou deliverst unto me five talents;  behold, I have gained beside them five talents more.

 

1.    This man had doubled his talents.  He went from having five to having ten.

2.    This did not happen overnight.  The lord had been gone for a long time.

3.    Elderly individuals have lived a long time. 

a.    They have studied many subjects.

b.    They have worked many jobs.

c.    They have engaged in numerous hobbies.

d.    They have worked in volunteer positions.

e.    They have seen difficulties, problems, and hardships

4.    Older individuals are extremely talented people.  Give them a job and witness the marvelous things they can do.

 

II.           STUBBORN

 

A.   Older individuals often have a tendency to be somewhat stubborn.  In one study, 77% of adult children reported stubborn behavior in their parents.

 

B.   There are several words used to describe their stubbornness:  cantankerous, set in their ways, unbending, hard, obstinate.

1.    They want certain foods prepared certain ways.

2.    They want to wear certain clothes.

3.    They want to go to a certain doctor.

4.    They will not always take their medicine.

5.    They want to watch a certain TV show.

6.    They refuse to learn new technologies.

7.    They do not want to leave the house.

8.    They do not want a new chair, a new couch, or a new bed.

9.    They are not going to give up a bad habit.

10. They are not going to give up sweets and other foods that might hurt them.

 

C.   It is interesting that the same older person who is so sweet to others can be so stubborn and unyielding to his/her children, family, and caregivers.  When others call them sweet or kind, the family wonders if they are talking about the person they are caring for.

 

D.   Two sides of stubbornness:

1.    Some stubbornness can be controlled by those who are older. 

a.    They must come to terms with some of the changes that happen as they age. 

b.    Compromising and being compliant are essential at times.

c.    Philippians 2:3-4

 

Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.  Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.

 

2.    Those caring for the elderly must understand that not all defiance is intentional. 

a.    Change, fear, discomfort, loss of control, a lack of hearing, and cognitive decline can all be factors that make the elderly more difficult.

b.    1 Thessalonians 5:14

 

Now we exhort you, brethren, warn them that are unruly, comfort the feebleminded, support the weak, be patient toward all men.

 

III.         GRUMPY

 

A.   We all have heard and perhaps have had dealings with grumpy old men and grumpy grannies. 

1.    Most of the time a word like “grumpy” does not stick with a group of people unless numerous individuals have experienced the negative behavior. 

2.    These individuals are just the opposite of the kind and sweet elderly.

3.    They are so common that two movies have been made about them:  “Grumpy Old Men” and “Grumpier Old Men.”

 

B.   Grumpy: 

1.    Surly or ill-tempered; discontentedly or sullenly irritable; grouchy; bitter

2.    Movie:  Grand Torino staring Clint Eastwood who plays Walt, a recent widower and a Korean War Veteran.

3.    These old individuals love to be mean. 

They love to gripe and complain. 

They are fault-finders. 

They seem to enjoy arguing and fighting.

They cannot be pleased.

Their behavior causes them to be isolated from others.

 

C.   Old people do not have to fall into the “grumpy” category, and Christians should never fall into this category.

1.    NOTE:  The behavior may be funny at times, but it is never becoming.

2.    It goes against Paul’s description of love found in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8.  Sixteen behaviors are listed and not one falls into the “grumpy” category.

3.    James 3:13-15

 

Who is a wise man and endued with knowledge among you?  let him shew out of a good conversation his works with meekness of wisdom.  But if ye have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not, and lie not against the truth.  This wisdom descendeth not from above, but is earthly, sensual, devilish.

 

IV.         BURDEN/TROUBLE

 

A.   The elderly suffer losses due to old age:  eye sight, hearing, strength.

The elderly often get sick and have various diseases.

The elderly cannot do things for themselves that they used to do:  cut the grass, clean the house, cook, and even get dressed.

The elderly can be a little stubborn and grumpy at times.

 

B.   These things often cause them to be a burden to those who are younger.

1.    They demand attention.

2.    They cost time.

3.    They cost money.

4.    They involve personal sacrifices.

5.    They involve services that are lowly and unpleasant at times.

 

C.   Two passages came to mind when I thought about this point of the lesson.

1.    The first is found in Matthew 15:3-9 and Mark 7:6-13.

a.    Jesus noted that the Law of Moses commanded children to honor their father and mother (Mark 7:10).  Found in this command is the responsibility to take care of one’s aging parents.

b.    The Jews, however, found a way around this burden (Mark 7:11-12).

 

But ye say, If a man shall say to his father or mother, It is Corban, that is so say, a gift, by whatsoever thou mightest be profited by me; he shall be free.  And ye suffer him no more to do aught for his father or mother.

 

1)    The children could donate their money to the temple for a period of time while their parents were old.

2)    No longer having the money, they exempted themselves from caring for their parents.

3)    After their parents were gone, they would have the principle returned to them.

2.    The second passage is found in John 13:13-17.

 

Ye call me Mater and Lord:  and ye say well; for so I am.  If I then, your Lord and Master have washed your feet; ye also out to wash one another’s feet.  For I have given you an example, that ye should do as I have done to you.  Verily, verily, I say unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord; neither he that is sent greater than he that sent him.  If ye know these things, happy are ye if ye do them.

 

a.    Caring for one’s aging parents is an action of a servant.

b.    Those who do it are walking in the footsteps of Jesus Christ.

c.    Jesus affirms that those who become servants will find happiness.

 

V.           LONELY/FORGOTTEN

 

A.   In our society we have found ways around personally caring for the elderly.

1.    Hire helpers to come into the home.

2.    Put the elderly in assisted living facilities or nursing homes.

3.    Check on them once a week or once a month.

 

B.   The parents often feel lonely and believe that they have been forgotten by those who should love them the most and be the closest to them.

 

C.   Question:  Why do we expect the elderly to do the things that the young people ought to be doing?  (Ex., provide, feed, visit, care, serve, etc.) 

1.    The elderly protect their children and loved ones with rationalization and justifications. 

a.    They are busy.

b.    They don’t have time.

c.    I do want to be a burden.

2.    But, the real reason the elderly do all these things is because if they do not, they will be forgotten and lonely.

 

D.   The Bible commands children to honor their parents in the Old Testament and in the New Testament.

1.    Exodus 20:12; Eph. 6:2-3

2.    Young people need to study what it means to honor mother and father.

3.    An aging person should not have to age alone and die lonely.

 

CONCLUSION

 

A.   This is our second lesson regarding the elderly.

 

B.   These are vital lessons for OceanSide since we are an aging congregation.

1.    The elderly need to be appreciated.

2.    The elderly need to live right for those who are younger.

3.    The younger members need to appreciate, honor, and learn from those who are older.

 

C.   If we live long enough, we get old.  Following old age is the grave and the unseen realm of the dead.  The only time we have to prepare for the world to come is during the here and now.  Individuals can start preparing by obeying the gospel at any accountable age.